Monday, March 31, 2008
the sun will shine again
How is this again? Well, life for me these few days back were not so great. Encountering more and more breakdowns which i find for the first time in my life i am so worn out of tearing and breakingdown.
Not only all this, a friend of mine is currently in a friendship crisis so hadda help her. I wont neglect her cos i knoe her ' friends ' is doing it. Hard time it is for her. According to her, God is just testing her so much this year. Spell the word F.R.I.E.N.D. again and think twice. Its all in her hands now. Leave or Stay.
Back to school life, my bestie is very estactic for some reasons that i should not disclose. She did not intentionally show it but i know she is. Trying very hard to be real real normal infront of her. I think what she did is enough already. She didnt have to stick to me 24 / 7 to consoule my broken soul but at least she understands and supports me in everyway. Thanx for being there.
On the other hand, this woman who claims that she's facing me 24 / 7 in class and she wants me to be the way i were. the jovial, bising and kacau- kacau type...not drifting apart. I think she's angry with me cos i read something that i aint suppose to which lead to an emotional breakdown. I think you've gotta bear with me and my puffy eyes for a while. I think i should stop the emo atmostphere surrounding her cos i think she's in love and up to something. I am really sorrie if i'm wrong.
Last but not least, someone that i know is watching me and her advice is the piece that i can never forget.
Those who really cared or bothered gave thier best. Could be worst without these people.
Last night, was a starless night. just the blank black sky. Innsomnia struck. I still got a pile of undone homework to go but i couldnt concentrate or continue. Was badly affected by the diary which resulted in sleepless nights and endless cries. Physically and mentally exhausted. My darkroom scares me off. Worst innsomnia case ever. Writting about my feelings will make me understand and calm my soul down. I am just an ordinary girl. Trying to figure things out. I admit that i havent completely heal yet.
*The sun will shine again*
0 said we can't be wrong together
Friday, March 28, 2008
drifted apart
Well, life goes on and time waits for no one. When everyone is rushing to catch up with life, i am stranded aside seeing it pass. Taking small pace. or maybe not even moving. Very insulated from the world. I also find difficulties in socializing. I am determined to move on after a few supportive voice from a few caring frens..no matter how hard it is, i'll strive to get over it.
Last night was a loong night. Tomoro will be better if i skip a routine. Time flies. 2 months gone alrdy b4 i could blink my eye. One more thing is, happie for a fren who found her love ones recently. Best of luck. My bestie is still poundering. I am physically and mentally worn out and slowly developing insomnia. I am also starting to scare the ppl around me and myself a lot.
PS : hoping no eyebags tomoro.
PPS : back to civilisation.
PPPS : daddy, i dun wanna shift.
0 said we can't be wrong together
Monday, March 24, 2008
Of taggies.
the time will come
2. If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you'd take and why?
wquai, jingyi and yeanlee
3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
i just need a break now. paris perhaps
4. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
reach for the stars
5. Do you believe you can survive without money?
i can never!!
6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
the ppl who cared bout me and the people that i reali care about *same goes to yeanless eh?*
7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
reach for the stars.
8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
not now.
9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
yeanlee
i. understanding
ii. humorous
iii. out-going
10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
loveable, physically attractive yet ordinary..personality wise, sence of humor is a must, tolerant, flexible but a lil tough..haha.
11. Which type of person do you hate the most?
u tell me.
12. If you are given the chance to go back to the past and make a difference, will you?
will not and dont want to.
13. Can you tell what's your future going to look like ?
i dont read it. but i see something to be discovered.
14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
family and fwens. last but not least, a career.
15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
u judge
16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
my moods for now. no one's perfect.
17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
jingyi, levinn, elaine, yeanlee.
18. What's your weakest point?
soft-hearted
19. What's the thing that you're most proud of?
my height.nyeknyek
20.once again .. how do u spell nucleus ?..
NUCLEUS!!
i tag :
elaine
glynn
yeethong
0 said we can't be wrong together
Saturday, March 22, 2008
put the ship to test before the journey
0 said we can't be wrong together
Friday, March 14, 2008
the catastrophic behind the holy holidays
The results came out at last. I were to face it at last. More to both Mihoko and me i guess. We had our share of shivering. Fine. It doesnt matter. It's awful.
For the past 5 days,
I....
- totally shut myself down form the outside world
- was too tired of thinking everything
- had long long bath so no one will act realise how badly i am crying out in confusion
- went for class and still find it awkward
- losing interest in practically everything
- chocolate is no more working
- were away from civilization
- a mess, a wreck
- loud screams were from my heart
- felt deep deep within
she dont deserve this. you cant blame her for being paranoid for what you did.dont you ever think of hurting her or even breaking her heart.
listen up~ if you attempt to make any futher moverment, please think bout it if you dont mind putting your inner major organ up for auction. THINK TWICE
SHE IS MY BESTIE so i care, she dont deserve all this pain that she's going through now. she's hardly 15! dont judge!
PS : we've gotta get this over together
PPS : most memorable holiday ever.
PPPS : till i learn to not spoil things tomoro night.
0 said we can't be wrong together
Sunday, March 9, 2008
i love my big-mom on SUNDAYs
Back to track, went out after lunch today wit the big momma and the family. One of the reason i love my mom on sundays. Timesquare and Sg.wang. Suppose to be searching a fuschia-ish top for Kaitlin's bash. As you know, i find difficulties in resisting pretty things. Got a few tee frm kotakmasa b4 heading to sg wang. I dont particularly like sg wang cos i can hardly b-r-e-a-t-h. Plus the lala-ism there is getting out of hand. Luckily i got the one frm forever 21 instead of the vj one. If not i'll be banging the wall by now. Although the forever 21 ones might not be that nice, but still better than the plain vj one kan?
Mom say i have better things to wear instead of both of those. But she still says that i look better in the forever 21 ones. She's already planning for more shopping trips during holz already. She claims that if i dont do something, i am near to depression. *it's half true* Daddie suggest me to do something to amuse mysself cos he doesnt wanna spend ridiculus to hire a phsycologist. *wth*
My feet is killing by the end of the day. I shud have listen to my big-momma to not wear the newly bought heels for the continuous walking shopping trip. It's killing me by now. I amma go hunt for new flip-flops instead of occupying my shoe rack wif heels. Filp-flops make me feel so short.
I am still too confuse to choose a pressie. I find myself indecisive when it comes to things like pressie. I have no idea. I just discover that i am a lil addicted to something. =.=" I found u lolipop kate! i am still hunting ur pressie la.
PS : 3 more days b4 i drive my self insane.
PPS : 6 more days till the day.
0 said we can't be wrong together
Friday, March 7, 2008
Shattered heart forced to heal
再怎么美丽也只能是曾经
~ It's like you missed a chace to wish upon a wishing star
No matter how beautiful it was, it's over ~
Yesterday everything went quite well in school. Talked to Thana a lil bout it. She knoes it all frm the beginning. Not much knoes. Thana, Mihoko, Levinn and Elaine. I reali made a scene. Not reali a scene but i still felt the awkwardness between us. Silence lies between two disconnected souls.
Reading it is hurting me even deeper and harder,
refreshing the memories that i found too hard to erase,
laughters that i got so used to,
the comforting voice that will pop-out any time in a day,
brotherly advise that i use to seek,
even a simple good morning or good night.
I read two paragraph and paid a price of 2 hours tears flow. Pricey ones. I will seriously go think about it if next time attempt to do any reading on it. I even realise something that i dont even know bout myself which is good.*i guess* I thought you didnt act observe that much cos i give unclear signals sometimes. *maybe*
I am having a good race with time. Pieceing it back silently, placing it in the correct angle and lastly adjust to the optimum temperature. Done. Well said is easier then well done.
ONE week holi one the go. Yaay! Hadda go maybe spoil myself a bit without forgetting my current financial status, i stil have 2 parties to go and i have absolutely nothing in the dysfunctional brain. Gonna drown myself will long long bath. Reali long ones. What else is better than uninterrupted peaceful sleep. Overwhelm me with anti-depressent pills pls. I nid it, fast. Maybe the partying will help a bit.
PS : results cuming
PPS : i'm going nutz.
PPPS : i shall see you ppl when i regain my sanity.
/ How Broken Can A Heart Shatter ?? Heart beats slowing pains are growing. For simply ... it has torn apart \
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Wednesday, March 5, 2008
- - an expressive post - -
1 ~ some nice holz homework
Is this suppose to be a PERCUTIAN SEKOLAH or PECUTAN SEKOLAH which i first saw as PERCUTIAN sekolah untill when i sat beside Mihoko during Moral. She does the awakening almost every morn. i saw PECUTAN as PERCUTIAN. What i wish there's reali an I there. How dissapointing. Back on that, tht Gorilla make u pratice her teknik perang Gerila. Namely cuti sekolah but now you're flooding it with a 50 pages thick booklet as kerja cuti.
2 ~ spm results
That thing is my major prob now. I have serious prob dealing with it. I am darn stress up now. I still havent figure out how to tell her ze maths results yet. Maybe i shud just tell her. It's driving me insane. Gosh! I am going nuts in a week time. if i'm reali gone, pls visit me. I am dead worry. See you there if i am there.
3 ~ pressies
What's the best that i can give eh? What will do good or sweet. What will look nice on her? Will i figure it out b4 the day? This is part of the reasons why am i going nutz. Skirts OR panst is also bringing my mind somewhere. Can someone come over and blow out the idea?? No idea what will happen. Might probably update bout it if i have may camera along.
*smack head to wall*
4 ~ the healing
The worst of all. Everything I tried to remember to say. Just went out my head. I gotta figure out what I need to express at the particular moment when i confront u. What I'm trying to say. We just can't go on. Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you. Our separate ways. Tearing me apart.
PS : wish me luck tomoros night.
PPS : i hope it dont turn into a scene.
20 said we can't be wrong together
Monday, March 3, 2008
Of burfdays
F-i-r-s-t, CASSANDRA PRIYANKA PIUS which is sick during her own burfday. Tough luck woman. Fairly nice fwen that's why i spare you some space here. Although classes have been diff, but the bond is still there. At least we still say HI to each other and i know that she's consider as a pretty occupy prefect.
S~E~C~O~N~D, this lady takes her turn to be ze burfday gurl. She is obsessively in love with DBSK / TVFXQ. She also proclaims XIAH-JUNSU and JUNG-YUNHO as her husband. She has secret mission to get XIAH. She is also a very self-obsessed lady. Modest is her. Anything just go right with her. Expertized in giving advise to those who needs it. MMmmm. Promoting her throught my bloggie pulak. See how fortunate you are lady~!!!! She has good lungs.
SOOMIN is her name.
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T H I R D. This woman that shares a class with me and has it all on her own. She is a monkey. She laughs like a lunatic. She's well-trained in O*******G. She is able to perform it anytime, anywhere, the most important thins is WITH ANYONE. *salute* She has the ability to bewitch you so you go laughing at her lame jokes. A great Twister partner of mine. She's ruled by the moon. Very much devoted to God. She's in the journey of discovering the woman in herself. Although your 15 might start rocky but i'm pretty sure that you'll get it over. Dissapointment is a form of encouragement. *REMEMBER* *Godbless
VANESSA ONG ZHU PEI.
PS : soomin, do something that you SHOULD do..
PPS : more to come
0 said we can't be wrong together
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Emotion Conquers My Soul
Stop it flowing like a river
Stop all this
If only you know it hurts
Think only if you know
Consider if it's right
Get it over b'cos it's over
Cherish it b'cos it happens
Set it free
The time has come
A path to take
A decision to make
Broken glass cut me to sleep
Wounds are disected so deep
I don't want to wake up
I need this blood to warm my hands
Missing you isn't the hardest part
Knowing that I once had you is
The mood of distraction's prevailing tonight
Have you seen what's the best and what's right?
Everyone's saying just try to be strong
It's hard to let anyone in
I'm fighting with myself
Trying to get you out of my head
PS : motionless healing in process.
PPS : spm results is too soon.
PPPS : school is killing me silently.
0 said we can't be wrong together