Thursday, October 8, 2009

I dedicate this "dictionary" to the male population of the Earth.. Or beyond, or under. Har har, memorize this dictionary and always always ALWAYS refer to it if you want to live a long life, boys. Cause it is soooo true (for me at least). =]

Words that women use.. and their actual meanings..

1) Yes = No

2) No = Yes

3) Maybe = No { SOO TRUEE HAHAHA! }

4) We need = I want

5) I am sorry = YOU'LL be sorry

6) We need to talk = You're in trouble { TRUEEE }

7) Do what you want = You'll pay for this later { HAHAHAH }

8) I am not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! { Omg are they talking about me?? }

9) You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? { This one.. Next time }

10) Fine= This is the word that women use to end an argument { EFFFING TRUE }
when they are right
and you need to shut up.

11) Five minutes = If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. { YUPP }
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given
five more minutes
to watch the game before helping around the house.

12) Nothing = This is the calm before the storm. { OMG this is so me }
This means something,
and you should stand on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually
end in fine.

13) Go ahead = This is a dare, not a permission. DON'T DO IT! { True at times }

14) Loud sigh = This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal { Hahahaa true }
statement often
misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you
are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #12 for the meaning of nothing)

15) That's OK = This is one of the most dangerous statements { Half true }
that a woman can make to a man.
"That's OK" means
she wants to think long and hard
before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

16) Thanks = A woman is thanking you, do not question, or FAINT.
Just say you're welcome.

17) Whatever = Is a woman's way of saying FUCK YOU!! {True most of the time HAHA}

18) Don't worry about it, I got it = Another dangerous statement,
meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times,
but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?"
For the woman's response, refer to #12. Then you RUN!